“You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes every day—unless you’re too busy; then you should sit for an hour.”
— Old Zen adage
I’ll be honest—I’ve never sat for an hour.
When I started, I couldn’t even make it five minutes!
My brain was chaos. Thoughts bouncing everywhere. My body wouldn’t cooperate either—I’d fidget, adjust, check the time… anything but sit still.
And mentally? Worse.
I learned to meditate near the end of my first marriage, hoping it would reduce my stress. Instead, the second I got quiet, everything I had been avoiding came rushing in.
Not exactly peaceful.
But here’s what I eventually realized:
Meditation doesn’t clear my mind, it helps me sort it out.
There’s always noise in there—past regrets, future worries, random mental chatter. Left alone, my brain will happily run through 1,000 imaginary scenarios about conversations that haven’t happened yet.
So instead of trying to solve every possible future situation, I shift the question:
👉 Not “What should I say?”
👉 But “Who do I want to be?”
What works for me is to be:
• Kind
• Compassionate
• Generous
If I show up that way, I don’t need to script the conversation. The words take care of themselves.
So, I sit myself down, close my eyes, and breathe. At first, I just focus on the air moving in and out slowly. I notice how busy my thoughts are. Then I think of kindness, generosity and compassion.
Usually, one of these concepts comes to the front, and I try to do ten more slow breaths as I focus on that principal. I’m still amazed at how much my mindset can shift in just a minute or two.
🎯Your Takeaways
• Start with one minute (how about right now?)
• Sit and breathe—don’t fight your thoughts
• Gently come back to: Who do I want to be right now?
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